Chapter 1: The Fear of Sharing

Lately, I've been grappling with apprehension about sharing my writing, especially on social media where my family and friends are closely tied to me. Though our relationships have matured over the years, they still know the essence of who I am. We've exchanged personal anecdotes, some of which I haven’t yet shared on Medium. They've seen my transformation from my younger self into the quiet, home-loving mother and fiancée I am today.

I often find myself pondering how they might react if they stumbled upon my stories, discovering aspects of my life they were previously unaware of—perhaps even learning things about themselves within my words. Strikingly, I don't need to mention names for them to identify with my narratives.

I've engaged with various discussions in books and podcasts about how creativity often springs from fear, and how confronting that fear can be a source of empowerment in one’s craft. This is a universal struggle—anyone who opens up about their life faces the uncertainty of acceptance or rejection.

Few know about my deep-seated love for writing, how I channel my thoughts onto paper as a form of coping. For me, writing resembles sending a heartfelt letter; even if there’s no reply, I feel a sense of fulfillment just from the act itself. Sharing my thoughts with the universe provides me with closure, enabling me to move forward and tackle new challenges or celebrate achievements.

In my younger years, my writings often revolved around negative experiences. After a tough day, I would retreat to my journal to vent about the people who upset me, the situations I faced, and the frustrations I endured. I often questioned why I was enduring such hardships at a young age, feeling that I should instead be focusing on joy and success. Yet, as life teaches us, things are seldom straightforward.

However, during moments of triumph or excitement, I would be so immersed that writing would slip my mind. Reflecting on this, I realize it contributed to my neglect of writing. I questioned why I didn’t measure up to the other writers I admired. I wondered if my challenges stemmed from English being my second language, making it hard for me to articulate my thoughts and causing anxiety over vocabulary choices. After all, I grew up speaking Spanglish—could that be a valid excuse?

I recognized the truth: I had linked writing with negative experiences, overlooking the good times that deserved to be shared. A few years back, I made a conscious choice to change that narrative. I began writing about everything—good and bad. I poured my heart into my work, contemplating how wonderful it would be if someone connected with my words, truly understanding me. This would alleviate my feelings of isolation.

I don't aspire to write a bestselling novel or go viral. My ambition is straightforward: I want to indulge in my passion for writing without the weight of judgment from others, regardless of their opinions on my abilities. Writing is fundamentally about self-expression—crafting narratives in my unique style.

Once, an editor inquired about my writing goals and future aspirations. I replied:

"Honestly, I simply want to keep sharing on Medium. Some may find that unambitious, but I’m still finding my way. I’m in the process of overcoming my fears. I aim to build confidence, connect with more readers (not just followers), and eventually muster the courage to branch out into different platforms and writing styles through reading. I don’t have a grand plan for my writing journey yet, and that’s perfectly fine."

I am just grateful to be here in this moment, and setting short-term goals is better than having none at all.

Chapter 2: The Power of Expression

In this chapter, we explore how creativity can arise from fear and the importance of embracing personal stories through writing.

Through these reflections, I am reminded that writing is not just a task but a pathway to understanding myself and connecting with others. It is through my words that I find solace and strength, enabling me to navigate the complexities of life.