Strategies for Overcoming Relapse and Embracing Sobriety
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Chapter 1: Understanding the Journey of Sobriety
The experience of quitting drinking, relapsing, and then attempting sobriety again can be confusing and frustrating. My own journey illustrates this well.
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I first gave up alcohol on May 9, 2016, but by July, I found myself drinking again. My initial period of sobriety lasted a mere two months. Upon returning to my habits, I noticed an increase in my drinking frequency. This is a common trend among those struggling with alcohol dependence.
After another attempt at quitting, I found myself back to drinking just two months later. How could I stumble again? This on-and-off relationship with alcohol persisted for nearly two years. Ultimately, I made the decision to stop drinking for good in September 2018.
A False Sense of Security
Having read numerous self-help books, I understood that complacency can be a dangerous trap in sobriety. I mistakenly believed that after my first two attempts, I was in control. The reality was quite different; I was neither secure nor stable in my sober lifestyle.
I had become overconfident, thinking, "I've got this." But instead of maintaining my sobriety, my consumption escalated. My drinking evolved from a casual glass of Chardonnay to daily mixed drinks, and I became skilled at mixing cocktails, rotating through my favorites.
As my reliance on alcohol deepened, so did my concerns about my health—physically, mentally, and emotionally. During the last two years of drinking, I recognized that I needed to quit again, as my wellbeing depended on it. While my first two relapses were brief, the last one proved to be much longer and more distressing. I felt powerless, as though alcohol had taken control of my life.
Despite this challenging time, I remained hopeful about regaining my freedom from alcohol. I knew the joy of living without it and longed to experience that liberation once more.
Did You Experience a Relapse?
If you’ve faced a setback in your sobriety, you’re not alone. Many people find themselves in this situation, but it’s essential to take responsibility and work towards reclaiming your sober life.
Relapse is not a sign of failure; in fact, many addiction specialists view it as a normal part of the recovery journey. Statistics reveal that between 40% to 60% of individuals in recovery will relapse at some point, similar to rates observed in those treated for chronic conditions like asthma and hypertension.
Understanding that relapse can be a typical aspect of recovery may help alleviate any shame you feel. Over time, the likelihood of relapse generally decreases with each year of sobriety.
For further advice on quitting alcohol, feel free to check out my article here.
Picking Yourself Up After a Relapse
Monument, an online recovery platform, shares valuable strategies for coping with relapse:
- Avoid Negative Self-Talk: It’s normal to feel disappointed after a relapse, but fixating on these emotions can hinder your progress. Focus on your goals instead.
- Seek Support: Resist the urge to isolate yourself after a setback. Reach out to a sober friend, contact a therapist, or join a support group.
- Reflect on What Happened: Identify any signs or risk factors that contributed to your relapse. Approach this reflection with kindness, using your insights as tools for prevention.
- Recommit to Sobriety: Remember that recovery is a lifelong journey. A relapse doesn’t define your future; it’s about progress, not perfection.
It’s crucial to regain your footing and seek support. I didn’t reach out for help in my earlier attempts, and perhaps that’s why I struggled to maintain my sobriety.
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Assessing What Went Wrong
It’s important to approach your experience with compassion. Were there any warning signs or factors that might have led to your relapse?
Both times I relapsed occurred during weddings, where I mistakenly thought I was strong enough to resist temptation. I hadn’t communicated my sobriety to my family beforehand, which could have led to their support rather than offering me drinks.
As Monument emphasizes, recommitting to sobriety acknowledges that this journey is not a sprint but a marathon. One setback does not determine your future; it’s about continual progress.
Like many others, I have faced the challenges of quitting drinking, experiencing multiple relapses, and ultimately finding my way back to a joyful, healthy sobriety today.