Section 1.1: The Misconception of Effortless Independence

The notion of being happily single is often portrayed as an easygoing lifestyle filled with freedom and independence. In reality, living solo comes with its own set of trials. Just like relationships demand effort, so does the practice of finding contentment in one’s own company.

I recall many evenings spent on my couch, determined to enjoy my alone time, only to find myself in tears halfway through a sentimental movie. Learning to be at peace with yourself doesn't happen overnight. Once the excitement of having the remote all to yourself fades, the real work begins.

Subsection 1.1.1: Cultivating a Relationship with Yourself

Being joyfully single is not merely about evading the complexities of partnerships; it’s about actively nurturing a significant relationship with the most crucial person in your life — yourself. This journey includes self-reflection, cultivating self-love, and gaining a clear understanding of your own wants, aspirations, and limits.

I delved into my personal interests and gained clarity on how I envisioned my life in the next 1, 3, and 5 years. I evaluated the activities that truly brought me happiness and discovered what makes my life feel fulfilling. By exploring concepts such as Human Design and manifestation, and prioritizing my emotional well-being, I was able to create an ambitious life on my own terms. While I remained open to the possibility of a partner, it became a bonus rather than a necessity.

Section 1.2: Understanding Solitude vs. Loneliness

One of the main hurdles of being happily single is balancing the concepts of solitude and loneliness. Solitude can be empowering and a pathway to self-discovery, while loneliness often feels like an overwhelming burden that breeds self-doubt. Learning to differentiate between the two takes conscious effort, which can be challenging when engulfed in feelings of isolation.

Loneliness serves a purpose; it signals that something is lacking. This ‘something’ might not be a partner (at least not yet) but could indicate a need for deeper connections in your life. Such connections can arise in various forms — through friends, family, or even a simple chat with a barista during a coffee run can alleviate feelings of loneliness. Embrace those lonely moments — they can provide valuable insights.

Navigating Social Norms

In a culture that often values romantic connections, being joyfully single can attract skepticism or pity. Even as more individuals choose to remain single, the stigma persists. I have encountered this firsthand, whether from colleagues eager to set me up or an ex-boyfriend insisting I needed someone to take care of me.

Then there’s the well-meaning but often condescending “good for you!” that follows when I mention my contented single status. While well-intentioned, it often carries an undertone suggesting that I’m overcoming some challenge.

I don’t have a definitive solution for combating societal norms, but I’ve found that choosing not to engage in discussions about my single status has been beneficial. If the topic arises, I avoid answering questions or justifying my choices. This approach helps normalize my situation, similar to how one wouldn’t typically question someone about their marriage. The key is to find confidence in your decisions and resist the urge to conform to societal expectations that don’t resonate with your authentic self.

The Empowering Choice of Being Single

Choosing to be happily single is an intentional decision, not a default setting. It grants you the freedom to shape your life according to your values and dreams, along with the responsibility to make choices that align with those beliefs. This delicate balance requires ongoing self-evaluation and the bravery to pursue what truly brings you joy.

It demands work — even more than being in a healthy relationship. We can often be our worst critics, and society has ingrained the idea that partnership is superior. It might feel like an uphill battle, but know that your efforts will yield rewarding results. The sense of freedom and autonomy over your life is unparalleled.

While relationships undeniably require effort, being joyfully single is a testament to a different kind of resilience — the ability to cultivate joy, purpose, and fulfillment within oneself. This journey requires self-awareness, courage, and a commitment to personal growth. So, let’s celebrate the intricate journey of embracing solitude, recognizing that the effort invested in being alone is a labor of self-love and empowerment. The outcomes can be incredibly rewarding.

Thanks for reading. If you’re interested in more content like this, consider becoming a member for unlimited access. I appreciate your support! You can also subscribe for email updates whenever I publish new material.

In this video, Robin Sharma shares insights on how to be comfortable with your own company and embrace solitude.

David Goggins offers motivational advice on embracing solitude and overcoming feelings of loneliness.