# Embracing Counseling: A Journey to Understanding in Tokyo
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Chapter 1: The Stigma of Seeking Help
For a long time, I perceived counseling as a weakness, burdened by the notion that needing help signified failure. Growing up, I was taught that I should tackle problems independently, and this mindset was only reinforced by the societal views in Japan.
After a joyful four-year marriage, my Japanese wife and I decided it was time to welcome our first child. While the process seemed straightforward, it turned out to be far more complex than we anticipated. We meticulously tracked temperatures and recorded data as though we were strategizing for a major operation. After months of effort and near despair, we finally achieved conception.
Chapter 3: The Unexpected Support
When Taeko finally returned home, she found herself unable to manage everyday tasks, relying heavily on my limited abilities. Just when we thought we were overwhelmed, a sharp knock on the door introduced us to her grandmother, who had traveled from Osaka with a hefty suitcase. Despite Taeko's mixed feelings, I was ecstatic. Her grandmother's presence meant home-cooked meals and support for both of us.
During this time, I received an opportunity to lead a group of Japanese clients on a ten-day tour across the US, covering cities like New York, Washington DC, and Chicago. However, our son, who had previously been eager to join us, decided he was content where he was, prompting the need for labor induction to ensure his birth coincided with my trip and grandmother’s assistance.
Chapter 4: The Challenges of Fatherhood
After my successful trip, grandma left, and it was just the three of us. While Taeko seemed to adapt effortlessly, I was a bundle of nerves, poring over Dr. Benjamin Spock's timeless parenting advice. My anxiety grew, particularly when our son cried, leading me to consider seeking counseling to navigate this sudden life transition.
Faced with the decision of choosing a counselor, either a Japanese professional or an English-speaking one, I recognized the necessity of talking to someone. Despite my struggles, I decided to meet with a Japanese counselor, but our first encounter ended abruptly when he left due to an emergency, leaving me bewildered and frustrated.
Chapter 5: Finding a Connection
Recalling a friend’s positive experience with an American counselor in Tokyo, I sought her recommendation. To my surprise, the clinic was conveniently located just three blocks from my workplace, behind a church I had never noticed before. This church, Tokyo Baptist Church, offered services in both English and Japanese.
Having converted to Christianity in college, I had not attended church since moving to Japan. The church’s library, filled with Christian literature, offered me a comforting escape.
Chapter 6: The Healing Power of Counseling
I began weekly sessions with my counselor, who provided valuable insights on adjusting to parenthood. When I expressed a newfound closeness to God, she didn’t quite grasp my reasoning, but I felt that divine intervention had led me to her and the church.
Navigating Tokyo’s busy streets could be daunting, but on Sundays, the church was accessible, with a parking lot—a rarity. We began attending the English service, meeting families from diverse backgrounds. The nursery for toddlers allowed us a brief reprieve during service, and our son thrived during meal times.
In retrospect, my decision to pursue counseling equipped me with essential tools for fatherhood, ultimately leading me to a supportive community at the church. Now back in the US, I find that one of my closest friends is a counselor, and I’ve come to appreciate the value of seeking help. While counseling may not be for everyone, I’ve become an advocate for its potential benefits.
Explore more about Japanese relaxation methods with "7 Unique Ways Japanese People Relax" by S.A. Ozbourne.