The Flashy Gift from the Grandiose Narcissist

Typically, grandiose narcissists present extravagant gifts. Expect to receive lavish items such as jewelry, high-end electronics, or exotic art. They may even share pictures of you with the gift on social media, aiming to portray themselves as generous partners. The emphasis is on how impressive the gift is rather than your actual preferences—it's all about their image and how others perceive them.

The Gift They Secretly Desired

Covert narcissists often opt for gifts that reflect their hidden desires. They might claim they need nothing for the occasion when asked for gift ideas, downplaying the holiday's importance. Their reluctance to express what they genuinely want leads them to buy gifts for you that they secretly desire, such as a coffee machine or a new gadget.

A Gift Designed to Hurt

Malignant narcissists take pleasure in causing discomfort. They might give a seemingly nice gift, but accompany it with backhanded comments, like mentioning how an ex looked great in the same item. Alternatively, they may select gifts that you cannot use, such as chocolate-covered strawberries if you have an allergy.

The Altruistic Facade of the Communal Narcissist

Communal narcissists often present gifts framed as charitable donations. They may promote their causes as a means to look generous and empathetic, yet their actions are more self-serving than altruistic.

The Meaningless Last-Minute Gift

Any narcissist might resort to a cheap, thoughtless gift. They often lack the motivation to invest time and effort into selecting something meaningful. It’s common for them to grab the first item they see at a convenience store, or even re-gift something they received previously, as they prioritize their own comfort over thoughtful gestures.

No Gift at All: A Narcissist's Justification

Any type of narcissist can rationalize skipping Valentine's Day altogether. Malignant narcissists may lash out, claiming you don’t deserve a gift due to your perceived shortcomings. On the other hand, grandiose narcissists might splurge on themselves instead, while communal narcissists may guilt-trip you for expecting gifts. Covert narcissists might share a sob story about their past experiences to excuse their lack of generosity.

I invite you to share your experiences with narcissist Valentine's gifts in the comments below! If you enjoyed this piece, please give it a clap to let me know what topics resonate with you.

Sherile Turner-Myles, Co-author of The Psychologist and Her Narcissists: A Guide to Surviving Toxic Relationships.