Exploring Health Choices: Jump Ropes, Caffeine, and Life's Ironies
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Chapter 1: The Allure of Jump Roping
Each time I scroll through Facebook, I'm greeted by a captivating video featuring a cheerful, slender woman jumping rope. It's both fascinating and somewhat absurd. I recognize that watching it will only lead to more similar videos in my feed, yet I find it hard to resist. Months ago, I read about Facebook's shift toward prioritizing "Reels" like Instagram, and I thought, "That's it; I'm not wasting time on trivial videos anymore." Yet, here I am, endlessly pausing to watch various clips—jump roping, soccer, weightlifting, mountain biking, and even magic tricks.
As a result, I've become significantly more engaged with Facebook. Earlier today, amidst the Reels, I stumbled upon a comic that humorously illustrated a tombstone with an inscription that read:
1959 — Quit smoking
1975 — Quit drinking
1988 — Quit red meat
1999 — Died anyway
This made me chuckle initially, but then I pondered deeper: is living longer truly our goal behind these lifestyle changes?
Section 1.1: Personal Health Journey
Recently, and not so recently, I've decided to cut out certain vices from my life—specifically, alcohol, animal protein, and caffeine. However, my motivations were not to extend my lifespan; rather, I aimed to enhance the quality of my current life. In two of these cases, the changes proved beneficial, but my attempt to eliminate meat turned out to be a significant misstep.
I became a vegetarian to alleviate inflammation in my body, hoping to alleviate my plantar fasciitis. Instead, I ended up battling chronic dizziness due to plummeting iron levels. After numerous tests, including an MRI, a simple blood test revealed the solution. My doctor advised me to reintroduce meat into my diet.
"Like chicken a few times a week?" I inquired.
"No, I mean hamburgers for lunch every day." So much for longevity!*
This afternoon, as the sun began to set and cast rays through the bare trees in my backyard, I found myself lounging on the couch, sipping a beer. It was a Hazy IPA from Athletic Brewing Company, the largest non-alcoholic brewery in the world. Until eight years ago, I consumed alcohol daily. I attempted to cut back, setting limits to weekends, but I soon became fixated on my next drink, counting down the days and hours. Ultimately, I decided it was simpler to eliminate alcohol entirely.
Now, I relish an NA beer several times a week. Unlike many beer enthusiasts, I genuinely enjoy the flavor. Years of conditioning have linked my first beer of the day to relaxation and reward, and I still experience that without the alcohol. It's a small silver lining from years of misuse.
Subsection 1.1.1: The Caffeine Conundrum
Four weeks ago, I made the decision to give up caffeine. Six weeks prior, I would have confidently wagered everything that I would never abandon caffeine. I was a devoted espresso lover, brewing a thirteen-shot stovetop pot daily. What changed? I discontinued my Tourette's medication, which had suppressed my tics and involuntary movements. The medication hindered my communication, making tics seem like a lesser evil. Without it, my tics spiraled out of control. In my misery, Susan researched potential remedies and stumbled upon the suggestion to reduce caffeine intake.
So, I took the plunge. I started with half-caf for a week, and then quit altogether. When I tried a Diet Coke a couple of weeks later, it left me feeling anxious and agitated. Now, I'm caffeine-free, switching to decaf espresso instead. Yes, I recognize that decaf contains some caffeine, just as non-alcoholic beer retains a bit of alcohol. However, these minor traces do not produce the full effects.
At one point, these lifestyle changes would have repulsed me. I was skeptical of those who abstained from alcohol and coffee, deeming it unnatural. Yet, these modifications align perfectly with my current self. Sobriety has liberated me from obsession, while ditching caffeine has alleviated my agitation, which exacerbated my tics. Without caffeine and medication, my tics now mirror the frequency I experienced with both.
These choices may or may not contribute to a longer life, but in the end, just like the individual on the tombstone, I will eventually "die anyway." However, if those jump roping videos inspire me to give it a shot, I may just gain a few extra years.
- Note: My iron levels improved with supplements taken three times a week alongside a balanced intake of red and white meat. Unfortunately, I can’t indulge in daily hamburgers.
Chapter 2: Embracing Change
The first video, titled "Jump Rope Dudes, You're Wrong," humorously addresses misconceptions about fitness and promotes a more playful approach to exercise.
The second video, "Caffeine or Nah? Mental Toughness + Calorie Cycling | #ASKTHEZENDUDES 14," discusses the impact of caffeine on mental resilience and offers insights on dietary choices.
About the Author
Jeff Cann resides in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, where he writes about mental health, running, and culture. His work has appeared in various publications, and he is the author of two books available on Amazon. For more of his essays and stories, visit www.jefftcann.com.