Embracing Sobriety: Overcoming Embarrassment and Shame
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Chapter 1 Understanding Sobriety
Five and a half years ago, I made the decision to quit drinking, breaking free from a longstanding and serious alcohol habit. Initially, I felt immense embarrassment regarding my sobriety. I kept my decision to stop drinking a secret for a long time, even when I began confiding in close friends and family, asking them to keep it under wraps.
The thought of my sobriety becoming public was mortifying, as I viewed it as an implicit acknowledgment of my alcoholism—a source of profound shame for me. I feared that if anyone found out, they would naturally question my reasons for quitting. I dreaded revealing how I had spent the last decade getting drunk every night and didn’t want others to judge me for squandering money and years of my life on alcohol.
The embarrassment I felt about my addiction was overwhelming, and it was compounded by the years I had allowed it to control my life.
Secretive Behavior Came Easily
Keeping my sobriety hidden was relatively easy because I had long been accustomed to concealing my drinking. I had spent over a decade mastering the art of secrecy and deception regarding my alcohol consumption.
During my active drinking days, I routinely lied about being busy to excuse my early departures for drinking sessions. I would stash empty cans and bottles deep in the trash, only to dispose of them when no one was watching. I even switched up liquor stores to avoid detection of my heavy drinking habits.
When I eventually stopped drinking, my lies shifted; I was no longer hiding my drinking but instead concealing my sobriety. I often told others that I couldn’t drink because of work commitments and devised flimsy excuses to avoid social gatherings where alcohol was present.
Despite my efforts, the burden of secrecy began to weigh heavily on me. I realized that allowing shame and embarrassment to govern my life was exhausting.
Section 1.1 Breaking Free from Shame
As my first year of sobriety progressed, I gradually started to share my journey with more people. To my surprise, each time I opened up about my sobriety, I felt a sense of relief, as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
Most people reacted with indifference when I shared my story. While some were supportive and others confused, the majority simply didn’t care. This realization helped me understand that the embarrassment and shame I carried were largely self-imposed. I was judging myself much more harshly than anyone else ever did.
Subsection 1.1.1 Shifting Perspectives
I began to change how I viewed my experiences with alcoholism and sobriety. Instead of dwelling on the shame of having been a heavy drinker, I chose to focus on the fact that I had taken action to change my life.
Yes, I had been a daily drinker for ten years, but I had also achieved over five years of sobriety. That accomplishment is not a source of shame but rather one of pride. Overcoming alcoholism is a monumental struggle, and achieving sobriety is one of the most challenging feats I have ever faced.
Chapter 2 Pride in Recovery
Through persistence in my sobriety journey, I found the key to overcoming the embarrassment I once felt. The longer I remained sober, the more I was able to take pride in this significant step forward in my life.
About Benya Clark: I’m a lawyer turned writer, focusing on sobriety and mental health. If you enjoyed this article, check out my newest project — a weekly newsletter of essays on sobriety.