Chapter 1: The Futility of 5-Year Plans

Living in the moment is vital, especially when the future is uncertain. I penned these thoughts back in December 2020, and now, in March 2023, my life has taken unexpected turns: a divorce, a new home, countless dates, a committed relationship, and a job change. None of these events were on my radar, reaffirming my belief that long-term goals often miss the mark.

As a caveat, pursuing educational goals is a different story; achieving a Ph.D. in three months is unrealistic. If you're in the academic grind, prioritize your studies over distractions.

Last week, I wrote about the importance of going No Contact. Predictably, my ex reached out, remarking on the future five years from now. I didn't respond but couldn't help but snicker.

Perhaps, like my ex, you had a stable job and lived in a well-functioning area throughout 2020. You might have experienced a relatively normal life while others were struggling. For those of us who faced significant challenges, thinking about the next five years feels futile.

2020 felt surreal, akin to an alternate reality. While I stood in line at Sephora, masked and socially distanced, I couldn’t help but reflect on the absurdity of it all. While some areas enjoyed open gyms, others, like mine, saw beloved establishments close permanently.

At the onset of the pandemic, I naively believed life would return to normal by summer. I even resisted buying a mask, relying on my doctor boyfriend for disposable ones. I opted for a stylish desk for work, thinking it would be a temporary inconvenience that would later serve as a makeup station. However, here I am, still using that desk, wishing I could smash it to pieces.

Contemplating life five years ahead is like predicting events eons from now. Will aliens invade? Will I face a health crisis? The unpredictability is overwhelming. While I recognize that some constants exist, like taxes and death, I refuse to wait five years for happiness. I’m ready to embrace life fully, starting with getting vaccinated.

As a society, we have collectively endured hardships, which fuels my desire to break free and truly live. No more cautious living. I’m donning evening gowns for grocery runs and driving hours for gelato. I’ve even agreed to participate in a 5K, despite previous vows to never run again.

For too long, I lived under a cloud of fear and indecision. Simple choices, like what to order at a restaurant, filled me with anxiety. Years of dissatisfaction in my marriage left me paralyzed, unable to choose. However, my risk tolerance has since increased dramatically.

Months ago, I made the life-altering decision to end my marriage and underwent surgery soon after. The chaos that ensued felt like a whirlwind, yet as everything settled, I found clarity. I emerged feeling stronger and more confident than ever before.

So no, I won’t be mulling over the next five years. If I desire something, I’ll pursue it now. I refuse to trust fate, especially after losing precious time waiting for things to unfold.

While I’m inherently a planner, I’m taking proactive steps toward my desires, such as finding a new therapist who challenges me and exploring online singing lessons.

Stop engaging in the “where do you see yourself in five years” game. Instead, ask yourself what you want today. The journey may take time, but starting now is essential.

And I’ll begin right after a well-deserved nap.

This video discusses the drawbacks of setting rigid goals and encourages viewers to focus on broader objectives without limitations.

Chapter 2: Seeking Immediate Fulfillment

This video provides a roadmap for setting effective five-year goals with actionable steps to successfully achieve them.