Chapter 1: The Question of Identity

After watching a film last night, a thought struck me that I quickly noted in my phone. The movie, Not Okay, features a protagonist who feels unfulfilled in her life. While the film may come across as somewhat cliché, it raises important questions about our existence and the society we inhabit.

The main character yearns for popularity and seeks the approval of a social media influencer she works alongside—someone I personally wouldn’t be inclined to impress. An unexpected chance arises for her to fabricate a story about attending a writers' retreat in Paris, a place she has no plans of visiting. Yet, this leads her to discover the allure of social media.

On platforms like Instagram, you can craft any identity you wish.

She constructs a new persona and presents herself in a more appealing light, editing images to depict herself in picturesque French settings, all while feigning enjoyment. Her online presence rapidly expands, attracting numerous followers.

I won't spoil the plot for those who enjoy a good cheesy movie, but as her lies accumulate, so does the pressure to maintain her fabricated identity.

We all harbor regrets. What if you could completely reinvent yourself? For instance, if you share my history as a former problem drinker who has caused chaos, what if you could start anew? Would you take that chance?

Imagine being in the shoes of the film's character: lacking friends, struggling to find your place, and feeling inadequate compared to your colleagues. Would you opt to remain as you are or would you take the leap to forge a new identity?

Change is within everyone’s reach. I am a testament to that, as I’ve transformed significantly over the past three years. Although I cannot erase my past mistakes, I’ve evolved and embraced a new identity.

Does the idea of starting over sound enticing? Perhaps just a tad.

Society imposes countless expectations regarding what constitutes success. From a young age, we are conditioned to follow a certain path: achieve good grades, heed parental advice, enroll in a reputable college, secure a stable job, and start a family.

If you fit the mold of an ideal woman—tall, slim, and attractive—people will be drawn to you. The same goes for men who embody the classic traits of being tall, dark, and handsome. Additionally, possessing wealth allows you to dress well, live comfortably, and drive a nice car, garnering respect from others.

In Not Okay, the character's profound loneliness drives her desire for change. When she initiates her white lie, she underestimates the potential fallout from creating an alternate identity.

She doesn’t change her name, but she alters everything about herself to appear more appealing to her colleagues and the online community.

When you reflect on your personality, values, and morals, are you content with what you see? It’s evident that the character struggles with self-acceptance, feeling compelled to change merely to gain societal approval.

I’ve experienced similar feelings throughout my life, and I know I’m not alone. If you’re reading this, you’ve likely grappled with feelings of inadequacy at some point too.

Consider this: if you could wipe your current identity clean and start afresh, who would you become? What qualities would you retain?

For me, at this stage in my life, I question the purpose of such a drastic change. While I could have embraced the idea of starting anew in my younger days, today, I find a stronger sense of self that comes with age.

My journey has included various highs and lows, yet I wouldn’t wish to alter much of it. While I wouldn’t go as far as to completely redefine my identity, I have made significant changes in my life to become a better version of myself.

These changes were not motivated by a desire to impress others; rather, they stemmed from an internal quest for peace and happiness. I’ve let go of outdated beliefs and habits because I’ve grown and evolved.

Transforming my persona to gain others' approval no longer interests me. While we can certainly embrace change and establish new principles, reshaping our identities solely to please others is an unhealthy endeavor.

Your identity naturally evolves over time, and it’s common to feel uncertain or doubt yourself. However, you should never feel pressured to completely alter who you are for the sake of others.

Have you experienced a positive shift in your identity? Have you seen Not Okay? Share your thoughts with me!

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Thank you for reading!

Much love, Michele

Chapter 2: The Impact of Change

Section 2.1: Societal Pressures and Expectations

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Subsection 2.1.1: The Journey of Self-Discovery